Nope, that's not a typo in our title. Two Mondays ago during that big snow storm...we had the most Monday Monday in the history of Mondays.
It started out like any other day. Just kidding, our Monday started at 12:15 AM when our Strouse House Baby woke up screaming bloody murder from spiking a 102.5 fever. After 1.5 hours, a call to my mom and an on-call nurse, we finally got her back to sleep.
It lasted for 45 minutes.
And this pattern continued every hour until 7 AM.
"Sure," you may be thinking. "You had a rough night, so what?"
My friend, we are just getting started.
We finally crawled out of bed at 7 AM where we were greeted with more bodily fluid than any baby should ever have. She had snot from ear to ear; a wet diaper that you could of sworn held an entire Great Lake, and a cough that would wake the living dead. We needed a shower just to get through her morning diaper change.
After scarfing down breakfast and reheating our coffee 3 different times, we finally called the doctor only to realize they were delayed in opening because of the snow. What on earth were we going to do with a fussy, sick baby while we wait for the doctor's office to open? What any sane parent would do. Time for the TV.
We don't have cable, so after a search on Netflix only produced kid TV programs that needed to be accompanied by a shot of vodka, we moved on to reading books about animals and making their sounds.
Brad continued to call the doctor and we finally got an appointment at noon.
It was currently 7:15 AM. We only occupied 15 minutes with the sick, cranky baby. It was going to be a long morning.
Brad hopped on his computer while I carried SHB (Strouse House Baby) on my hip for the next hour or two. We were waiting on Closet Factory to pop by and install some lights on our shelving units. Because clearly we had our priorities straight.
Closet Factory was a nice distraction. SHB was intrigued to see what was happening and I finally had a chance to drink my thrice heated up, now cold again coffee.
By this point, we finally made it to nap time. 10AMish. Except nap time with a cranky baby meant I had to hold and rock her to sleep. Not normal for us. We did sleep training, but at this point in her sickness, I would have done just about anything to get her to sleep. If she said "Mom, I want Kim Kardashian's stolen diamond ring and only then will I go to sleep," I would have flown to Europe, found the robbers myself to secure that diamond. I was clearly desperate.
We rocked for 40-60 minutes. This was probably the highlight of my Monday. I enjoyed this quiet time with her. She was peaceful and didn't seem to be in pain. If I knew how my day was going to end up, I would had held onto that moment a little longer.
By 11:20, it was time to leave for the doctor. Now you may be thinking "Good grief, where is your doctor - Charlottesville?" No, actually it was just 10 minutes up the road. So why on earth did we budget 40 minutes to go? We had an adventure a head of us.
You see, we live at the bottom of a hill. And that Monday, that hill was icier than the Olympic ice luge in Cool Runnings. So every time it snows, we park at the top of the hill and walk to and from our car. It's an easy 1/4 mile walk.
Well, it was easy last year when only two of us had to walk to the car. This year, we had a 16 pound baby in a 5 pound (I guess) car seat topped with enough blankets to warm a frost bitten foot.
So, we dressed like the blizzard was currently happening...boots, hats and snow shoes, oh my! Brad, being the incredible husband he is, carried SHB the whole way, in 4 (eh, probably 20 now) degree weather. We slipped, tip-toed and slid the whole way up the 1/4 mile hill and finally made it to our car.
It was 11:40. We had plenty of time. Brad had cleared the snow off the car yesterday and our main road had been salted so we didn't imagine a long trek to the doctor.
We got Stella buckled in, loaded up all of our snow gear and finally got ourselves situated in the front seat.
Brad and I looked at each other. That's not the sound a car should make.
My head fell into my hands.
OUR CAR WOULDN'T START. After a couple of texts to some friends and a failed attempt at a jump, we realized the cold just cooked our battery. Deader than a door nail.
Because this morning was already an experience, I started laughing. I do that when I get nervous. I giggle uncontrollably. How on Earth are we going to make it to the doctor on time with a dead battery?
Call my parents? They are a good 20-30 minutes away.
Friends? Same thing.
So, we did what any millennial would do. We called an Uber. SHB's first Uber Ride. (Which was what I pondered naming this post, but it didn't fully encapsulate the day we had.)
If you've made it this far, I applaud you. I realize this story is more for us to look back on and laugh, but hopefully you have had a giggle here and there. We are only half way (12 hours to be exact) through the most Monday Monday ever. Let's not waste any time. Let's continue.
We ordered the Uber and waited in 20 degree weather, on the side of a main road with our baby. I am sure our parenting choices were being questioned as each and every person drove past us. We even had a neighbor, very concerned, ask us if we were OK. 15 minutes later (and only 5 minutes to make it to our appointment) our Uber Driver, Anthony, arrived.
I wish I was a fly on the wall of his brain when he saw this ridiculous 30-something couple standing in the freezing cold with a BABY waiting on an Uber. Luckily, I wasn't and he was gracious. He even chuckled when I asked if he had ever Uber-ed a baby before. He hadn't. SHB is far beyond her years.
Meanwhile, I couldn't help but laugh that we were in this predicament. If you would have told me when we woke up at 12:15 AM that by noon, I would be in an Uber with my baby, I would have laughed at you.
We arrived only about 15 minutes late to our appointment because of traffic, slow cars and snow still on the side streets. The entire staff was so understanding and a ray of sunshine during the most Monday Monday ever. They got us back quickly and in with the doctor right away. Thank goodness, because my nervous laughter was setting in again.
SHB had developed a 102.8 fever, ear infection and was so congested she had become a dreaded mouth breather. After a prescription, chat with the doctor, the most traumatic nose rinse by the sweetest nurse ever, SHB could breathe again and we had hope the day would turn around.
It would seem that it was starting to turn around. We hailed our Uber home from a sweet 20-something college student who was just as sweet as Anthony. We chatted, laughed how this was now SHB's second Uber ride and finally arrived back at our neighborhood.
Time for the epic repel down Mt. Everest, I mean our neighborhood street. During our journey, we saw a fellow neighbor with a dead battery. Seems the cold does wonders on cars. He had Pop-A-Lock out there helping him with a jump. Not one to miss an opportunity, Brad struck up a conversation and convinced the Pop-A-Lock employee to help us out as well. "YES. OUR DAY IS TURNING AROUND," we naively thought.
SHB had finally fallen asleep after being assaulted with a nose rinse bottle so I said I would take her home while Brad got the car fixed. By myself. Down the slippery hill. In 20 degree weather.
Y'all. What on earth was I thinking?! All 21 (I guess) pounds of her in the car seat felt like carrying a baby elephant in one hand while ice skating on a frozen tundra. I had to take multiple breaks. Again I remind you, this trip was only 1/4 of a mile.
SHB, asleep and unfazed by my slips and almost tumbles.
We finally made it....the same time Brad did and he started his journey a solid 20 minutes after we did.
We finally got settled at home and knowing our battery was now fixed thanks to Pop-A-Lock, I volunteered as tribute to go to the store to get Stella's medicine.
I began my journey back up the hill when my mom called saying she could meet me and take me to the store. (She had received a play-by-play of our adventure via text.) I informed her all was well and I'd embark on this adventure solo. I slipped a total of 4 times, but made it without severe injury.
I hopped in the car, shook off my boots and started the car.
You have got to be kidding me.
I tried again.
Cue up the nervous laughter.
The battery was dead AGAIN. I couldn't muster any other reaction other than laughter so after a good chuckle at what a ridiculous day this had already been, I called mom to inform her that I did in fact need her. She was downtown and it was going to be a solid 20 minutes before she could arrive. Instead of shivering to death in the car, I made the smart decision to keep moving and walk to the grocery store.
Smart decision? Ha. Thinking I would only be in the cold for the few minutes while hiking up Mt. Everest, I didn't put on my snow pants. I had thin workout pants on, short snow boots and a down coat. However, I am not one to change my mind so my journey to the store continued, shivering and all.
My mom thought she would meet me half way, but I am much quicker than she thought. Even with a break at Wendy's to refuel my energy tanks, I made it to the store in about 30 minutes. My legs were frozen and I wanted to curl up in the fetal position, but I had a sick baby. I had to do what I had to do.
After my purchases had been acquired, mom finally arrived, came to my rescue and got me home in 5 minutes flat where I collapsed on the couch for a long winter nap. At 3 pm. We still had 4 hours until bed time, a dead car and less energy than I have after running a 1/2 marathon.
Our day continued on with Brad taking the car to the shop, a $200 battery and what felt like we were bleeding money from the visit, prescriptions and car visits. However, some how we miraculously made it through the day. The Most Monday Monday in the History of Mondays.